25 Things I Learned the Hard Way

1. Laundry doesn't get cleaner by sitting on the floor for a week.
2. Teachers bite back.
3. Not everything is a toy.
4. She really doesn't want to play Halo with you.
5. Before pulling into the street, it's best to look right AND left.
6. Some people actually read source citations.
7. Beer bellies aren't hot.
8. It's a good idea to look away from the screen and blink every half hour or so.
9. Having a girl doesn't get easier.
10. Meal replacement shakes don't actually replace meals.
11. Just because she said something bad about herself doesn't mean you're allowed to agree.
12. Orthodontists aren't the enemy.
13. If she's shrugging her shoulders, clamming up, glaring at you, crying, and yelling, it's her way of saying you did something wrong.
14. Fourteen year-olds do not have enough information to decide who they want to spend the rest of their life with.
15. There is a difference between artsy and art.
16. Calculators are good. Answers in the back of the book are better.
17. Everyone says they want to hear the truth but only one in ten actually mean it.
18. Everyone your age is emo. You're not special.
19. Even people from the opposing party have feelings.
20. Sometimes, violence is not the answer.
21. If it says use protective eye wear, use protective eye wear.
22. Save your work often.
23. Showing up in class can significantly increase your final grade.
24. Eventually, you reach an age where watching Barney is frowned on.
25. Just because she's emailing you doesn't mean she wants to marry you.