That reminds me...

The following is a transcript of the first seven minutes of my upper-division economic theory and research course taught by Professor Dennis O. Doherty (above), a faculty member who has been at the university 35 years. His knowledge about the topic and acumen to discuss economics are unquestioned. His brevity and succinctness are not.

DENNIS O. DOHERTY: I love teaching in this room. The first time I taught a course in this room was in the fall semester of '84. They had just built this building five or so years before after a substantial struggle with the administration to secure funds. The former Department Chair -- actually the chair before him; the one two chairs ago -- felt we should direct our money toward sports -- football specifically. He was a big fan. He thought it would help recruiting. Ironically, after this classroom building was constructed the school did away with the football program, making this the only Division 1A NCAA institution to get rid of a football program in the last century. A real shame, if you ask me.

[DOHERTY PAUSES AND LOOKS AT THE WALL FOR A SECOND, COLLECTING HIS THOUGHTS.]

DENNIS O. DOHERTY: Actually, it would have been the spring of 1984. I remember because they were putting in the East lawn. Looking out this window, it used to be a mess of shrubbery that the science students would burn back with freshly mixed experimental weed killer. It was all very impromptu. The brass opted for aesthetics over academics and installed the sod. Their work was a major interruption. Every class period, it seemed, we'd be bothered by the sound of their travails. I like that word, travails, did you know it's borrowed from the French? Sometimes I think we ought to return it.

[PAUSE]

DENNIS O. DOHERTY: I had cold cereal for breakfast this morning. For years I had a regular breakfast of two eggs and toast. It was the perfect combination, I thought, of carbs and protein and it stuck with me pretty well. I never had any pre-lunch collapse. But my doctor is worried about my dietary cholesterol. Any biology students here? No? Well, the cholesterol you consume in your diet isn't nearly as bad for you as the saturated fat you put in your system. In fact, you can eat a lot of cholesterol and not have a problem as long as the saturated fat is kept to a minimum. But for some reason my doctor is worried about the cholesterol. He wants to put me on a statin drug -- some kind of HMG-CoA reductase inhibitor -- to reduce my risk of heart disease. But I'm concerned about the liver damage. My dad was an alcoholic and died of liver poisoning. Or whatever it's called.

[ANOTHER PAUSE]

DENNIS O. DOHERTY: Take care of your diet. Take care of your health. Life advice...
[ANOTHER PAUSE]

DENNIS O. DOHERTY: Oddly enough, they would use a drywall knife to cut the sod and they had to be careful how they placed it because the irrigation system was pre-installed. This was in the early days of low-evaporation sprinklers, when environmental consciousness was just starting to emerge as a dominant consideration. Nowadays it isn't nearly as much of an operation, but back then it was perceived as very innovative. A drywall knife. How many of you guys have seen a drywall knife? It looks like an oversized putty knife with blades that are almost too dull to justify the name "knife." I wonder why they never developed a tool explicitely for cutting sod. I have a buddy who works in the landscaping business -- he actually does design for upscale and bids out installation projects to subcontractors -- I ought to give him a call and ask about that. He's got a couple of kids, wonder how they're doing...

[PAUSE AS A STUDENT ENTERS AND SHEEPISHLY TAKES A SEAT BY THE DOOR]

DENNIS O. DOHERTY: Miss, you are late. You are fortunate I am so lenient on tardy students. When I was a graduate student at the University of Utah -- that's where all the backslidden Mormons go -- I was tardy for the first day of my statistics methods class. I didn't miss a day all semester and was never again late, but he really drilled me for it in his seminar review. Eugene Billington. That was his name. He specialized in regression analysis of demographics -- a field which is really quite large now, but was just emerging in the 70s. He gave me an A- in his class. I don't think I've ever worked so hard for an A-. I mean, I had classes at the undergraduate level that I just surfed through -- never did the readings, missed class, glossed over the homework -- but not in Billington's statistics methods course. He would grill you for that.

DENNIS O. DOHERTY: So, here's the syllabus...

13375p34|< (leetspeak)

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A = E, I = U

Un thus post every unstence of one common vowel hes been repleced wuth enother common vowel, leevung eech word confusung end peunful. Uf you cen reed thus wuthout essustence, you should strongly consuder e future un wrutung or decodung. U heer they heve openungs et the CUE end FBU.

Usn’t ut emezung the umpect e chenge to e couple of vowels cen heve? U left the mejoruty untect, but the two thet were substututed ere very dustrectung. E lue us much more powerful when muxed wuth e luttle truth.

Sincerely Yours, Me

Do you ever get pronoun confusion? It's when the wrong pronoun sounds right (not left) and your friends give you dour looks when you start referring to yourself in the wrong person. You is confused with I even though proper grammar is used throughout. It's a writer's third biggest nightmare (behind actionable nouns and proper verbs). It's linguistic schizophrenia on crack.

We would write a post about the concept, but it's already been done. Our friends at Enlarged to Show Texture, a snazzy blog that just underwent a sexy redesign, have a record of correspondence between two first-person pronouns. And, while I am no editor (please don't make wise cracks about that moment of honesty), all appears to be grammatically correct. Go check it out and leave the girls at EST a nice comment or two.

Presentation

Nobody could understand the gibberish Bill stuttered, stumbled and sputtered through as he began his presentation on Catholic influences in France. Bill held his handwritten notes close to his body, as if gathering warmth from between the sheets. His eyes glanced furtively around the room, willing approval from a student body that was more nervous than attentive. Those that were scheduled to follow Bill's group were not paying attention, those who had already delivered were thinking of more pleasant things, like root canals.

Several days' growth of peach fuzz glistened with nervous sweat but, other than an unsteady hand, tentative voice and visibly shaking knee, Bill exuded no signs of nervousness. He was as put together as you would expect a college freshman discussing an arcane subject in a foreign language to be.

Bill sported his thin body in a way that was far from cool. A Led Zeppelin shirt or tight jeans would at least have rendered his frailty an air of purpose. As it was, it looked as if he'd forgotten to eat breakfast for the last two years. Or maybe he was a crack fiend on slim fast, we'll never know for certain. Bill's delivery was as anemic as his appearance. Words were missing where they belonged and inserted where they made no sense. Bill distracted us from his incomprehensibility by shifting his weight back and forth, like a human pendulum counting down the seconds until he could sit down.

When Bill's portion of the presentation was complete and the last grains of sand filtered through the professor's mental hourglass, he moved his thin figure to the back of the room, folded his pencil arms across his chest and began swaying back and forth. I tried to determine what song was going through his mind to inspire such dour movement and hoped against hope that it wasn't anything on my playlist, when Annie (yes, that Annie) productively cleared her throat and began to speak.

Annie's contribution to the presentation was as intense as it was confusing. Her normally zoned out features acquired new life in front of the language class and she waived her arms about with the dexterity of a Jazzercise employee. Unlike Bill, Annie managed to not look nervous. She seemed oblivious to the subdued laughter shared by the derelicts in the back row and, from my point of view, managed to get through all five minutes of material without making eye contact with anyone.

I wish I could remember what aspect of French Catholicism Annie spoke about, but I confess that I was too busy writing the above paragraph to catch much.

Annie's gruesome exercise in presentation aerobics came to a welcome ending as she joined Bill in the back of the room, folded her arms and began swaying in tandem with her teammate. Bill leaned in to give Annie a thumbs up, but things got awkward when Dré, who was speaking next, tried to turn around to see what the audience was staring at. Bill made an attempt at explaining his encouragement in French, but couldn't remember the word for "thumb." Dré's puzzlement was intensified by Annie's attempt at assistance when she wrongly introduced the word for "big toe." Bill thought the students were laughing at him (and maybe they were), so he stopped swaying and his face turned crimson. I don't think Annie ever got the joke, because she stood stock still with a blank look on her face, pointing a limp finger at a vertical thumb.

Dré soldiered on, introducing a religious interpretation that I found as offensive as it was inaccurate. Sensing his error, Dré tried to dig his way out, but only deepened the rut. The result was a tragic retelling of French history that lost even the advanced students. The professor made a eye contact with me and smiled. I felt better.

When it was over, the students broke out into one of the most enthusiastic golf claps since Geoff Ogilvy halted Tiger Wood's win streak. We were genuinely happy for the presenters as they smiled grins of relief and retook their places as far away from the whiteboard as possible. The professor marched to the front of class, said something unnecessarily gracious about the drivel we had just endured and introduced the next presentation...

How to Speak Teen

If there's one thing you won't get taking English 1A or reading Merriam-Webster's (two things we get enough of anyway), it's an academic and somewhat-thorough exploration of Teen, the 4th most popular language in the United States (after Spanish, Old School, and English). Communicating in 2008 America makes a working knowledge of Teen a necessity, so we present this glossary for your enlightenment.

All: (adj) (adv)

Indicates a state of being or that the following word/clause/idea will describe the subject. Can also be used to imply opening quotation marks.

He's all, I'm moving to Belize.
And she's all hopping up and down and all, that is so not cool.
And he's all, why are you all way upset.
And she's all, why are you gonna be all Belizian.

When used consecutively, the principles of exaggeration mathematics apply (See: Like).

Teen: He's all, he's all shot in a million places.
English: He was under the weather.

Convention dictates that this word usually refers to the past when applied to someone else, but to the present when applied to the speaker.

Cool: (n) (v) (adj) (adv) (prep)

All-purpose word used to communicate whatever the speaker is trying to say, as with the Italian "prego". Can be combined with any prefix or suffix for enhanced comprehension.

He's cool!
He's bringing the cooler!
He IS a cooler!

Can be used to indicate general positive qualities.

That car is cool!
My doctor is major coolness!
Nazis so un-cool!
It's a cool ride!
Ask a Ninja is cool!

Also to indicate calmness, especially in times of passion or stress.

Go cool off!
He's a cool cat!
Be cool!

Also as an acknowledgment.

"I finished grammar school!"
"Cool."

To draw attention to awkwardness.
"I have small pox." "... Coooool ..."

To communicate acceptability.

"Is 6 o'clock cool?"

"I ran over your flower bed."
"That's cool."

To communicate skill or wickedness (teen usage).

He's a cool driver!
He's cool at making medieval weapons!

To communicate kindness or niceness.

"You want the rest of my sandwich?"
"Thanks! You're really cool."

To communicate the resolution or prevention of relational tension.

"I'm sorry."
"It's cool."
"Are we cool?"
"Yeah, we're cool."

(Note that the 2nd line of this dialogue uses Cool to communicate acceptability, whereas the 4th line communicates forgiveness).

"What's up with you and Jack?"
"It's nothing. We're cool now."

To communicate popularity regardless of inherent worth.

I hate Britney Spear's new album. How'd it get to be so cool?
Bell bottoms aren't cool anymore.
All the cool kids eat at Rick's.

To communicate consent or agreement.

"I'll pay you two-fifty for it." "Cool."

To communicate a state of being without any unique immediate needs.

"Are you still sick?"
"No, I'm cool now."

"She dumped me this morning."
"Are you cool?"
"Yeah. I'm cool."

To communicate a state of total disrepair.

My jeans are cooler!

To communicate a declining of an offer because of a lack of interest and/or a state of contentment.

"I can help you get even."
"No, I'm cool."

To communicate or describe something brilliant and/or random.

"I've got a fever, and the only prescription for that fever is more cowbell!"

Used as a fall back word when all other responses fail.

"My room mate has a problem - thinks he's a refrigerator, sleeps with his mouth open - I can't turn the light off."
"Cool."

"I have established a connection with the spirit world through that lava lamp you threw away. Your great-granddad says hi."
"Cool."

Dude (n)

Informal: person.
"Who's that dude across the street?"
"Bob is a cool dude."

To show greater respect, the word Guy is preferable.

"That's the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. He's a pretty important guy."

To show greater intimacy/friendship, the word Bro is preferable. Bro is best used possessively; as "my bro" and "your bro," indicating who the subject is close to.

"Is that your bro Kate who just walked into that building?"

Dude, Guy, and Bro are not gender-specific, but when referring to females, the sentence is sometimes restructured to omit the word.

"Bill is an awesome dude."
"Megan is awesome."

This practice is conventional but not gramatically necessary.

Hecka: (adj) (adv)

Substantial; significantly great, especially to indicate a quantity.

He drives hecka fast!
That's hecka ice cream in that float!
This song is hecka cool!
I hecka love this song!
I use the word "hecka" hecka lot!

Like: (adj) (adv)

Indicates that the word, clause, or idea immediately following is exaggerated.

Teen: "I'm, like, exhausted!"
English: "I'm tired!"

Teen: "That's, like, so far away!"
English: "That's a moderate distance."

Can also indicate an action or state of being, especially in the past, especially involving communication. See: All.

Teen: "I'm, like, I hate you!"
English: "I told him I'd rather be alone."

Teen: "And he's, like, fine, I don't need you anyway; I'll just go back to living with my parents!"
English: "He quit on the spot."

Teen: "I'm all cheesed off and he's, like, dude, chill."
English: "He had to calm me down."

Like is used mathematically with exaggeration words like Hecka. Each Like negates the amplifying effect of a single exaggeration word translating into an English word like many or very.

(Way+Hecka-Like=1)
Teen: The peanut butter was, like, way hecka old.
English: The peanut butter was very old.

(Like-like+totally=-1)
Teen: My computer is, like, like, totally crashed.
English: My computer will be fine.

Own (v)

To dominate; be vastly superior to.

America totally owned Saddam Hussein.

Also used as a noun with the suffix -age.

My governor owns yours.

If the target of the owning is not specified this word implies a general state of superiority.

This soup owns.
Master Chief is total ownage.

In many circles, the word is modified with a P; it's is spelled Pwn and pronounced: pOn. This is often associated with nerds, gamers, and Wikipedia contributors.

Luigi pwns Mario.

Random (adj)

Unexpected; unrelated; selected because previous events have given no warning of it.

"I'm hungry for pork and cottage cheese."
"Your appetite is so random!"

"I was walking in to school today and some random guy came up and started talking to me."

"Flying rutabagas and purple cannonballs!"
"Uhhh ... random ..."

Way: (adj) (adv)

Very; extremely.

This band is way cool!
I'm way tired!

Not to be used to communicate a quantity as "hecka."

DON'T: That's way cars!
DO: That's hecka cars!

Also not to be confused with the English noun with same spelling and pronunciation.

Wicked: (adj)

Good; desirable; to be envied.

That car is wicked!

Combined with "sick" to emphasize a high level of skill or excellence.

Wicked sick!

Combined with any other adjective to emphasize an unattainable quality.

Wicked cool!
Wicked awesome!

Not to be used in a sentence with amplifying or diminishing words.

DON'T: "He's way wicked." DO: "He's wicked sick."

DON'T: "Iowa is all wicked right now."
DO: "Actually let's face it. Iowa is just not that wicked."

So if you can randomly insert the above words in like, your daily language, you can wicked own all those dudes who think they're way cooler than you.

The Day I used no Adjectives

I got up this morning and, in the middle of my shower, shave and shine routine, was hit with an idea. I’m not sure where I was hit, but the idea went something like this: Why not go a whole day without any adjectives? Describing words are, afterall, not absolutely vital to everyday existence. I often went a whole conversation or two without ever having to utter a modifying word and I was sure I would be able to go a whole day without one. Guys are supposed to say a lot less than girls anyway, so if I found a way to let others do the talking, my experiment might be pain free.

I went down to breakfast just as my mother was putting out some pancakes. They looked delicious (although I didn’t say that out loud!).

“Did you sleep ok?” Bummer, my mother was trying to make conversation. My plan to listen through breakfast was thwarted already.

“I slept…” Oooh. Tricky. “My bed was…” Humph! That doesn't work. “Yes, I did.” Inward grin.

“Great. Well, we’re going to visit some friends tonight so be sure you come home straight after work, ok?”

“Yes, ma’am; I’ll come home after work.” I didn’t mean for my reply to sound sarcastic, but in my effort to use complete sentences, it might have come across as a little tart.

“Immediately?” Was my mother trying to derail me? It was only 7:50 and I’d already encountered my first adjective-only question.

I just smiled my biggest, most boyish grin and nodded.

“Got home pretty late last night, didn’t you son?” My father had just entered the room and was putting me on the spot. There is nothing worse than having a semantic limitation while justifying a late night to your parents.

“Well, yes. I got home at 11:30. I was in town with a friend; we went to a Bible Study, remember?”

“Oh that’s right. That girl from school; was the study good?”

I tensed, trying to think quickly but reasoning more slowly because of the effort. Then it hit me.
“We were in Revelation reading about…about the…” I was going to say “end times,” but “end” could be considered an adjective, although not necessarily in that use. My father was looking at me expectantly, so I shoveled some pancake into my mouth and mumbled incomprehensibly behind the food. My father seemed satisfied and turned to talk with my mother about something.

I finished breakfast quickly and headed to class where my economics teacher was ruthlessly attacking the institution of a federal currency and the Federal Reserve System in general. More than once I wanted to ask a question pointing out his inconsistencies and asking if his ideology would work well once applied to the real world, but I could never phrase my question without an adjective. For the first time all semester, I stayed silent through the entire class period. I left somewhat depressed and ate lunch alone.

At work, I was called into my boss’ office. As a refresher, my boss is a J. Jonah Jameson wannabe who stopped smoking cigars in the office when OSHA confiscated his supply of Cubans.

He sat me down inches from his face and began speaking gruffly. “We had three bite sized morsels go through our cereal inspection system yesterday on your watch. Young man if this happens again, we will have to consider demoting you from the Wheaties belt. Is that understood?" His breath smelled like a mix of coffee, tobacco and gingivitis.

“Sir, no flakes got through on my watch. I looked. Nothing happened.” I wanted to say that no bad flakes had gotten through, that I had looked carefully and that nothing untoward had happened, but without adjectives I was left with a very simple sounding response.

Maybe it is better that I used simple, absolute words that weren’t amended by adjectives my boss may have found intimidating, because he looked assuaged.

“Well, ok then. Call Randy in on your way out.”

I drove home in the late afternoon with Carrie Underwood playing on my car stereo. I sang along, except, of course, where she used adjectives.

I dug my key into the side/ of his…drive/ carved my name into his…seat./I took a... slugger to…lights, slashed a hole in...tires

There is nothing quite as tiring as editing a song while listening to it on the radio.

When I arrived at home, my mother was ready to leave for our friend’s house. She asked me if I liked her blouse, which I assume was new.

“Well, it’s a blouse,” I answered, giving her a big hug and cringing at the same time. I pulled away and showed her a thumbs up with my best tough guy look. “Gotta change,” I said, practically running to my room.

At our friend’s house, several younger children were playing Apples to Apples and wanted me to join. I declined, knowing I would never be able to read a green apple card, and went to chat politics with a group more in step with my age, if not my vocabulary de jour.

“I think this whole thing about Obama raising money through YouTube is ridiculous. The feds regulate every other kind of donation; you’d think they have a limit on the online gifts.” My friend was woefully misunderstanding the situation, and my pain must have been apparent because he asked my opinion. Before I could flinch, the entire group was looking my way.

“Barrack Obama is running for President.” I squinted, looked slightly upward and nodded. It worked, after three seconds of this mimed thinking (which passed like a Mother-in-Law’s visit for me), everyone lost interest and resumed their own conversations.

I left for some water.

That night, I called a friend and we chatted for just under an hour. While I am aware that real men do not chat on the phone for extended periods of time, I was comfortable enough in my masculinity to leave our conversation unperturbed. I am proud to say I went through the entire conversation using "yes" and "no" answers and was able to hang up unscathed, with my friend only slightly suspicious.

My takeaway from the experience is that semantic errata are better articulated in determinate vocabulary environments. Then again, that last sentence may be a solid argument for sentences with few and simple words.

One Bar of Soap Later...

Apparently drug content isn't the only thing we're out of line on.

The loving FCN readership has brought to our attention another urgent matter of public decency: Use of the word #3(<, also known as -&{X, which is another word for :-:[-<{, as in: "What the }{=-©ɮ!" This word is a very innappropo. It's not the sort of word polite people use in polite conversation with polite company. The fact is, )-((-(( is a place for people who don't believe in 60$]-[, also known as C-()5/~/, which is another word for (_+[]z(-). We at FCN have gotten much too cavalier and familiar with this very serious word, deploying it casually in a few recent posts. That kind of language ends today.

We, the FCN team, solemnly $\/\/342 never to use the word }~{£¢K again, as long as this blog endures, so help us, and we offer heartfelt apologies to all who had to suffer through the degrading language of previous posts. It won't happen again. FCN has turned a corner. \_:_/00+ vv()()--!

Lost In Translation

I know that in writing this I am undoubtedly communicating to a passel of aspiring linguists who have a rudimentary understanding of every tongue spoken on the seven continents (and then some, if our faithful few are prone to “inventing” languages), so please bear with your author who, though bilingual, knows about as much of most languages as he does quantum physics, which isn't much.

Anyone ever used Google Translator? The website is a lifesaver when it comes to interpreting obscure foreign languages encountered on the web. You just type in the text and BOOM, like some David Copperfield episode, the text is transformed into the language of your choice.

Only it doesn't always work so brilliantly.

Languages vary by a zillion different factors that keep us amateurs confused and professional translators in the cheese. They vary in idiom, syntax, conjugation and pronunciation; even their tenses are different. A word in English could mean the exact opposite in another language (Don't try saying “tootles” in England; I learned the hard way.)

If you have traveled in a foreign country and read the translated tourist signs, you probably believe, as I do, that many cheap businesses use online translators instead of professional human beings to aid their communication to American tourists. Think of it as linguistic plagiarism: Many companies try to skate away from costs by connecting to the ol' WWW and finding out what to say for themselves and, not surprisingly, most fail miserably. For example, a sign in one Morrocan shop reads "Here speeching American." Yeah, right.

You can't escape from the curse of Babel that cheaply!

Here at the FCN lab, we took a simple phrase and ran it through the linguistic grinder. We wanted a sentence that we could use against any malicious people who looked like they might beat us up in a dark ally. You know how dangerous foreign countries can be and its good to have a snazzy line to pull out if someone suspicious starts following you. Well, we gave it the old college try, but our results looked more like linguine than language.

Here's the breakdown:

Original: If anyone follows us, we will ditch them, we will cream them, we will squash them, we will pound them into the ground and tear them to pieces.

French: Si n'importe qui nous suit, nous les entourerons de fossés, nous les écrémerons, nous sirop les, nous les martèlerons dans le sol et les déchirerons aux morceaux.

French Translation: If no matter who follows us, we will surround them by ditches, we will skim them, us syrup them, we will hammer them in the ground and will tear them with the pieces.

German: Wenn jeder uns folgt, werden wir sie mit Gräben umgeben, wir werden sie abrahmen wir Sirup sie, wir werden sie im Boden hämmern und sie werden an den Stücken zerreißen.

German Translation: If everyone follows us, we are surrounded it with ditches, we will them skim we syrup them, we to become them in the soil hammer and them at the pieces will tear up.

Chinese: 如果我们每个人以下,这与我们四周沟渠,我们将他们我们糖浆, 我们成为他们和他们的土锤片将撕毁.

Chinese Translation: If each one of us, which shows us around drains, we will be their skim syrup. We become their hammer and they will tear up the soil.

Russian: Если каждый из нас, который показывает нам около водосточных систем, мы будем их сироп. Мы стали их молотком, и они будут уничтожать землю.

Russian Translation: If each one of us, which shows us about the drains, we are going to skim syrup. We have to hammer, and they will destroy the land.

Korean: 하수구에 관하여 저희를 보여주는, 우리 각자가 우리 가는 경우에 시럽을 우리는 망치로 쳐야 하고, 그들은 땅을 파괴할 것이다.

Korean Translation: Regarding the drain it shows us, our each one us it is thin in case the syrup skim. We must hit with the hammer, them will destroy the ground.

I can just see calling a mugger thin and syrupy.

“Oh, you're going to destroy my land!”

The pronunciations on some of those languages look brutal. Take the Korean, for instance. What do you do with “하?” Does that have some kind of phonetic significance or does it mean what it looks like it means, a fat man and his date?

Seriously though, stores should stop forging their own trials through the quagmires of language and hire qualified experts for assistance. I, for one, would be happy to volunteer.

Homonyms

The other day a friend asked me to right down all the homonyms I could think of. I was holy unprepared for the task:

“Holly cow,” I said allowed. “Their a lot of these.”

“I know, that’s what I thought, two. You mussed do it though. But please try to be discrete about it,” my friend replied. “Its not as if I am going to prophet from this!”

He put so much pressure on me. It felt like I had a pistil pointed at my aye browse. No, it felt like he was pointing a canon at me. Even if I ducked quickly, I doubted the missal would have mist. My friend was going to seer fear into my mined. Maybe I would feel better if he offered me some cache for my work or sang a Christmas carrel.

I excepted his challenge and began creating an affective list. Sometimes its hard to find the rite homonym; just as you begin to wright it, you realize the word isn’t a homonym apteral.

I considered my options for a minute and than began scribbling. Than I got hungry, so I ordered some Chinese Wanton. The whether was good, good enough for a pyknic, so I putt on my shoo and went outside for some air. A large mousse walked by, causing a minor toxin and forcing a frightened creek from my friend.

“You’re running out of thyme,” my friend said, who had obviously been Sheik-en by the animal.

“Your so rued,” I told my friend as I staid put.

I tried to titan my concentration, focusing my cite on objects cloth and fair away. I tried not to steel anyone’s ideas and wait for the tide of thoughts to return. I eight some bytes of food to help my thoughts, butt not even that worked. I thought about bier, but I was underage and not aloud to drink boos.

I was getting frustrated. The energy was draining from my gored. I was a guerrilla without any hare. A loot without any strings.

I decided that was about enough and handed my page to my friend, who called me a succor. He said I was suite, though, and that he would make me an ice cream Sunday for my trouble.

“No problem,” I said before I tiered up, “good-buy.”