Somebody beat us to it

This proves that dereliction is always the best approach. When we actually try for something - something meaningful and important - and make an attempt at history that will allow our names to live forever in the giant book of winners, someone else does it before us. Over the weekend a new world record was set with 4 1/4 bananas eaten in one minute. Now that's some news that wont make Drudge. The video above is a documentation of the effort and ensuing success.

All I have to say is that man had better not be one of the Faithful FCN Few who stole our idea and got into the record book himself. If you count yourself among one of our eleven readers Scott Whateveryourlastnameis, be sure to give us a shout out of some kind. Please? I mean, we're practically begging here.

Deep seated hatred, sour grapes and avowed vengeance aside, we extend heartfelt congratulations to the gentleman who managed to scarf down four good sized bananas in a minute. He deserves every ounce of ink the record book will devote to him next year. Great job Scott.

Plant Pathology Blues

It's true. We're uploading another movie.

This one was written and directed by someone who is only tangentially (read: familiarly) related to the FCN Team. But F was behind the camera, and he edited it. So we're uploading it.

This movie was presented last Friday at the Annual Plant Pathology Social at UC Davis. It's basically a place for a nerds to hang out in one of the smallest, most obscure departments on a world-famous campus and scratch each other's backs. Traditionally, such movies are really really cheap and cheesy, and are full of inside jokes. This year was no exception.

This year, the lot fell to Ryan H to produce the movie for the social, and he contacted his movie-freak brother to get it done. The movie-freak brother agreed when the university promised to compensate him with 2 free shirts.

While this movie was never intended for general consumption, we decided to upload it because:

1) We're starved for new content.
2) Some of it is funny even if you don't know the inside jokes.
3) An FCN reader asked us to post another movie.
4) See point 1.

And so we present, without further ado, the Plant Pathology Blues, presented in 3 formats for you discriminating readers.

Part 1 and Part 2

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ue6Qut21O8M
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-aP9JnvMya8

The Brow Documents

FCN recently received the following email:

Dear FCN,

It has been brought to my attention that 2/3rds of FCN staff edit their eyebrows, as result of their teasing by someone who had purple hair, to which the retort was, "Oh yeah? Well, I don't have one eyebrow." Out of curiosity, I would like to know three things (feel free to embellish with as many lies as you want…I think it makes the stories more interesting).

1. The real (or completely hammed) story behind the unibrow
2. How long the F of FCN plans to leave his hair the way it is (including facial hair!) and how he decided to bring it to that state
3. If any of the FCN staff has experimented with electrical nose hair trimmers, and the resulting experiences (I've heard that they tickle).

Lady Éowyn

This email may have been more dead-on that its author intended. The fact is, all three of us trim. The story is an intensely complex issue - very close to all of our hearts. But we decided to bare our souls and expose ourselves to a short video documentary by an objective interviewer so we could tell our stories (the first video production from FCN since the Minnie the Moocher music video). At the last minute, C backed out of the operation, but F and N pressed on and created the video, which can be found here, which for those of you who don't click on things, is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-umnkaTv0U

Enjoy.

How To Give A Great Man To Man Hug

Thanks to Miss Shannon, a longtime FCN reader, for sending us this video. We found its instruction both germane and profound. We'll be praying for you as you embark on the next big adventure in your life. And hopefully you will be able to access FCN from your perch overseas.

I'm not a real Statesman, but I play one on TV...

Fred Thompson?

FCN Classic: Minnie The Moocher

Another media file from the dark ages of FCN, this one starring all the authors and a few of the authors' siblings shows our interpretation of Cab Calloway's Minnie The Moocher. A big hit when it was first released back in September of 2006, we hope you enjoy it today.

Watch Minnie The Moocher here or, for those of you who don't click on things, copy and paste the following URL:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6515674974576604798

FCN Classic: Jump, Jump, Jump!

This little music video was made by Dan back in the dark ages. He is terribly embarrassed about it and has a self esteem complex that surrounds the production. In fact, he begged and pleaded that it not be posted. In an attempt to justify his plea, he contacted a couple of FCN readers and played the video for them while fabricating criticisms. He threatened to delete the file and produced some photographs that would have caused me to relent and not post this had I been a Miss America contestant. He did some very unmanly things to show how humbly he wanted this to remain mired in oblivion. Eventually, however, art prevailed over decency and the result is reproduced here for your enjoyment and so I can watch Dan blush.

Check out FCN's music video for True Vibe's Jump, Jump, Jump.

Or, for those of you who don't click on things, the address is:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8686485693044509566