What does the world cost? Oh well, then we'll just take a small coke.


Wednesday, September 03, 2008

The Differences Between Things


Sometimes it's hard to tell. FCN offers this helpful guide to promote general discerning. Note that we learned all of these the hard way.

The difference between an elephant and a table is that one is an animal and the other is not.
The difference between a trench coat and a spatula is that one is used for getting tomato sauce out of pots and the other is not.
The difference between a ceiling fan and glass of prune juice is that one is nice to have around and the other is a glass of prune juice.
The difference between olive oil and white wine is the taste.
The difference between rubbing alcohol and vodka is the label.
The difference between a bunny and a bread crumb is the cuteness.
The difference between a canary and box of cereal is that one is good to eat in a pinch and the other is a box of cereal.
The difference between a parrot and a machine gun is the volume.
The difference between a chihuahua and an enchilada is that only one will stay on your plate without help.
The difference between a plate of sauerkraut and a stone wall is the crunchiness.
The difference between a penny and a helicopter is the market value.
The difference between men and women is really complicated.
The difference between black and white is that only one looks like the forest at night.
The difference between see and saw is semantic.
The difference between a tuxedo and a bikini is that only one is generally accepted at formal functions.
The difference between table salt and powdered milk is how well it is replaced by soy sauce.
The difference between broccoli and anthrax is the nutrition facts.
The difference between an airplane and an ice pick is how well it reacts to sudden impacts with mountains.
The difference between a college student and a cub scout is how much pizza one of them can hold.
The difference between a ball gown and a hemp rope is its usefulness in an urban combat situation.
The difference between a raven and a writing desk is that one is a raven and the other is a writing desk.
The difference between M&Ms and Skittles are the chewiness.
Chewinesses.
Degree to which they are chewy.
Whatever.

1 comment:

you can call me batman said...

lol, those were funny. Could you plz post EVERY day? plz? some of us are going through withdrawls and having really bad days because FCN isn't posting. (translation: life sucks without FCN)