OBJECT OF THE GAME
To score as many points as possible by fulfilling achievements that involve impacting your car against pedestrians at a speed of no less than 15 MPH (unless otherwise noted).
- A car.
- Bumper protectors (like the ones you see on cop cars) are recommended but optional.
Pedestrian Polo is like making car payments: it never ends. The moment you get behind the wheel, the game is on; you have a chance to score fresh achievements and get ahead of your friends. The ongoing, honor-based point system keeps drivers constantly on the lookout for new pedestrians.
As a rule of thumb, double your point value for striking two pedestrians simultaneously; triple for three, and so on. Also, double all your points if you are a professional driver (bus, taxi, race car, etc).
Little White Man Indeed. Stop at a crosswalk on a red light. When pedestrians pass in front of you, ram them.
2 points: The pedestrian squeaks on impact.
4 points: The pedestrian has a cane or walker.
5 points: The pedestrian attempts to leap out of the way but fails.
8 points: The pedestrian hesitates, and you wave that it's okay to pass.
10 points: The pedestrian is your landlord.
Fresh Air. Without slowing down, cross to the left side of the road and take out a pedestrian with your door.
3 points: The pedestrian is just exiting a building.
4 points: The pedestrian is holding no less than two bags of groceries.
6 points: Close the door just before striking a telephone pole or other object.
8 points: The pedestrian is on a crosswalk.
13 points: Use the passenger side door.
Collateral Suicide. Impact a pedestrian as you go off a bridge.
2 points: The pedestrian was considering suicide already.
6 points: The pedestrian had considered suicide and had just decided life was worth living.
8 points: Leap out of the car just before it goes over the edge.
15 points: Stay in the car and survive.
No Safe Haven. Impact a pedestrian indoors.
5 points: Shopping mall.
8 points: A spa.
13 points: Traffic school.
18 points: The top of a sky scraper.
35 points: A basement.
39 points: A legislative building.
Part of the Plan. Impact someone to whom you have just given a ride.
1 point: Pick up a hitch hiker, drive him at least a quarter mile, then have him get out and ram him.
3 points: Drive your friend to school.
7 points: Carpool with a coworker.
14 points: Carpool with your boss.
Mesmerizing. Approach the pedestrian slowly for at least twenty seconds, then accelerate and ram.
3 points: The pedestrian never saw you coming.
9 points: The pedestrian watched, stupefied.
27 points: The pedestrian had a gun pulled on you and was yelling at you to halt.
Ambush. Impact a pedestrian who is between you and the road.
4 points: Hide in an alley until the opportune moment.
7 points: Conceal your car in trees and bushes.
16 points: Wait in a building, and crash through a large window on your way to the target.
29 points: Crash through a large window on a story other than the ground level and land on the target.
That was Deliberate. Impact a famous or dangerous person.
1 point: Registered sex offender.
3 points: Politician.
6 points: Actor.
8 points: Simon Cowell.
9 points: Barack Obama.
14 points: Bruce Willis.
15 points: A wanted terrorist.
40 points: Chuck Norris.
Only Yourself to Blame. Impact without turning on your engine.
3 points: Push your car down a hill.
10 points: Push your car along a flat plane.
12 points: Tow your car behind another, then disengage the tow line and slingshot into your target.
Karma. Impact another pedestrian polo player.