What does the world cost? Oh well, then we'll just take a small coke.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Creeper 101

I try not to text in class. Except on days that end in "y".

This particular day, I got a facebook message that I read on my phone in the form of a text. To give a little background for the story, a guy sent me a facebook friend request in the first month of this semester. Since I didn't recognize him, I ignored it. I didn't think about it again... this happens pretty often. One day I got 2 friend requests from guys I don't know, one in Ghana, the other in Romania. Apparently I get around.

Yesterday he friend requested me again, and when I saw his picture I recognized who he was. I didn't remember ignoring him a few months ago. I accepted.

Ok, so I read the facebook message. And since I was bored (Chemistry at 8am tends to cause those feelings), I replied. The following story is an epic example of how NOT to get a girl's attention. So for all of you desperate bachelors out there, it might help you to grab a pen and paper and take some notes. Here's how the conversation shaped up:

Creeper: hey, what made you change your mind? Don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly okay with the fact that you did, I'm just curious.

Me: well, I get friend requests from guys I don't know fairly often, so if I don't recognize them I ignore them. but I recognized you this time. I think you're in my Psychology class and my brother dorm group. right?

Creeper: No its just the Psych class...unless you haven't been showing up to any of the brother/sister events. You're in Crawford hall, right?

Me: Nah, I'm in Bailey hall.

Creeper: dang it! honestly I couldn't remember which it was....I stalked you via the student database to get your last name and I had just forgotten if it was Crawford or Bailey. :-)

(Note: If a guy shamelessly admits to stalking a girl, normally we do NOT think this is cute. Multiple alarms go off in our head and we run for the hills faster than the Von Trapp family. At this point, I sent a text to ChaCha to ask "how do I deal with a stalker?" ChaCha replied: "The best way to deal with a stalker is to save any threatening messages or emails sent to you and present them to the police." That seems a little harsh.)

Me: why go to so much trouble for a friend request?

Creeper: wouldn't you like to know. it wasn't that much trouble. honestly for some reason you just stick out in our psych class so that was the reason i requested the first time and this time.

(Note: If a guy says a girl sticks out, that phrase had better be followed with a sincere compliment of explanation. It should not be left hanging like John Brown. I texted ChaCha again to ask, "How do you deal with a creeper?" ChaCha replied: "Call the cops and get a restraining order ASAP!!!!!! Be careful and Good Luck!!")

Me: I'm hoping I stick out in a good way, not simply cause I'm weird

Creeper: no, its totally because you are weird! all the way...lol jk, No its in a good way defiantly.

My roommate wants me to de-friend him. Unfortunately I think he actually is in my brother dorm so I'm supposed to be nice to him. But that's only if he can find me. I plan to do my best to blend in for a couple weeks until I don't stick out anymore.