I'm Sorry*

There was a bit of a ruckus here at FCN headquarters yesterday evening. Contributor C, Contributor N, Mommy G, Uncle Wally, Saint Nicholas, and Elvis (I know - crazy, huh) made a very dramatic entrance through the front door and dragged me, kicking and screaming, away from the keyboard.

We had a long talk, which was punctuated by utensils found in Mommy G's kitchen. I was determined not to cave in to my former colleague's persuasions, and my resolve held firm for about thirty seconds. When C and N broke out the corkscrew and juicer, I caved. In other news, a recent online test indicates that I am ill-suited for clandestine operations.

I told them everything, as if they didn't already know. They made me apologize, which was humiliating. Then I had to stay up very late with Uncle Wally putting FCN back the way it was, which was no easy task, let me tell you, especially when you're not allowed to seek aid from caffeine. Finally, I was made to write this post, and publicly apologize for doing what any one of you would have done under similar circumstances. So here goes.

People of the world, please forgive me for the way I somehow wronged you by foisting my own ideas on you through the perfectly legal and ethical means of writing on my own blog, as I was asked to do by the people who are now forcing me to write this. I realize now that the new FCN is vastly inferior to the old one for reasons that are completely beyond my comprehension and gladly embrace the tried-and-true formula which has proven to be such a miserable failure in the past. I am filled with remorse for the way I deceived you and the rest of the FCN team. Apparently, deceiving means pouring my soul out on a public website, and for some reason, my fellow contributors feel they have the moral authority to chastise me for lying. I am so, so sorry from the bottom of my heart and beg your forgiveness, also from the bottom of my heart, which is where I keep my most sincere sentiments.*

So that's said. As of now, all the old ways and rules of FCN are back in state and you will never hear me complain about it again. I've had my say. Now I'm going to go sit as far as possible from Mommy G and cry for a little while.

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* not!