The Truth about our Hit Counter

A recent rFCN post really got our gears turning. After our recommitment to honesty, we were really bothered by the accusation that we were actively hiding something from our readers. We were determined to get to the bottom of the hit counter scandal and expose the truth. Actually, we just wanted to find out who was guilty so we could drag his bald, tattooed self through a hay field to a Scone convention attended only by home school moms. Yeah. That would have been funny.

To that end, we stayed up late on a school night with Uncle Wally, crunching numbers and carefully examining the complex HTML code that makes FCN what it is. The code had never been pretty to start with, but after F's takeover and sabotage, it was looking worse than ever. It took us hours of careful search. But finally, we came to the bottom of it, and we announce that bottom here with shame and amazement:

There was a flaw in our hit counter!

I know. It's hard to believe. But it's true. All this time, we thought we only had ten readers. We were selling ourselves short! I guess many of you probably suspected from the number of comments that the readership must have been higher, but we placed too much trust in our code, which we only just now realized was full of bugs.

After carefully tallying up the corrected, bug-free data, we were able to come up with the correct number, which we now present to the world in general and rFCN specifically in the name of transparency, honesty, and trust. We have: 11 readers.

We apologize profusely for this embarrassing error. Countergate is an ugly mark on FCN's pristine record, and we hope you can find it in your hearts to lend us a little slack. Like Bill belichickbefore us, we offer this ambiguous apology and trust you will know what to do with it.

Before closing, we'd like to offer a solemn admonition to rFCN to be careful how it points fingers. Not every error is a lie, fellow humorists. People make mistakes. We hope you learned a valuable lesson here about jumping to conclusions. The next time you think someone has lied to you, take a second to stop and consider the possibility that they made an honest error. We're sure everyone will appreciate the gesture.

Oh, and next time, fact check.

Well, the new, accurate counter is up and running, and we can proceed into the future with confidence in our statistics.