What does the world cost? Oh well, then we'll just take a small coke.


Friday, June 22, 2007

Arizona Is So Hot...

Have any of you ever been to Arizona? (or, as it's called by the natives, Arid Zona?). It's the Sunshine State's neighbor to the East and has been affectionately titled the Sunburn state. Even if you've never been there before, you probably know that Arizona is hot. It isn't just warm; it's so grilling hot that light waives are bent indoors and you can boil an egg on your leg (a small mom and pop diner in Phoenix actually serves an “egg on your leg” special on weekday afternoons). The heat in Arizona isn't like other climes, because it's a dry heat; there is no humidity to keep you moist, so most people dry up and look like hippies on crack (on crack) soon after crossing the border. Arizona is hot. Squelching hot. Arizona is so hot...

...Most bathrooms are equipped with a mister above the toilette.

...Faucets don't have a hot water dial.

...Freon is the state's second largest import, behind illegal aliens.

...Coppertone is subsidized by the state government.

...When she first visited, Jessica Alba was surprised to find something hotter than herself.

...Green grass is owned only by rich people.

...College students don't bother with garments.

...Neither do senior citizens.

...Al Gore chose it to shoot significant parts of an Inconvenient Truth.

...The rich illegal aliens carry umbrellas.

...Road surfaces are a HazMat.

...Swimming pools are large spas.

...The gasoline almost costs more than water.

...The open desert is coated with a thick sheet of glass.

3 comments:

Adrialien said...

LOL! Yep, it sure is hot in AZ! But, it's 20 degrees hotter in the Canyon, just be glad you weren't there :P!

Anonymous said...

lol I think I've been there, but I dont remember it being so hot!!
:P

Anonymous said...

I v'e been living and "dying"
every summer in phoenix for almost 45yrs and i work outside everyday
and believe me it's hotter than people think.
it's soo hot in fact that frequently they lie about the temp.

At the airport they put the thermometer in the shade 12 feet off the ground.
so the temp they tell us can be as much as 8 degrees different than the reality of it all.
after all who wants to live in a city where it's 120 degrees most days during our 6 month summer!
this is no exaggeration i've been here my entire life born here in fact and you never get used to this kind of heat not if you work
outside like i do if it were a few degrees cooler id say it was hell.
on a hot summer day you can easiliy
go through two gallons of water and then start looking for more.