What does the world cost? Oh well, then we'll just take a small coke.

Monday, June 25, 2007

New Mexico Is So Boring...

New Mexico is a medium sized state nestled between Arizona and Texas. It is also one of the four corner states and, with those two exceptions, there is nothing notable about New Mexico. Serious. The “Welcome To Our Very Humble State” Visitors Center talks about all the things to see and do...in Colorado, Texas and Arizona. The state's main attractions are all based on history – a not-so-subtle admission that the present is uninteresting. The state bird is the Roadrunner, a creature stolen from neighboring Arizona. The state motto is even less inspiring: “Grow as it goes.” Try waiting around for that. Yawn. If you're from the Land of Enchantment, please don't take this the wrong way; you're state was probably once very engaging. Probably. Maybe. Possibly. Anyway, today New Mexico is boring. Yes, boring. New Mexico is so boring...

...Illegal immigrants have been known to run south across the border.

...M.C. Hammer lost "it" in Albuquerque.

...It's biggest claim to national fame is to have sponsored a presidential candidate.

...It's biggest claim to literary fame is D.H. Lawrence. You can visit his ranch outside Taos and see a small painted urn with his ashes. It's five dollars admission.

...It's biggest claim to artistic fame is the Museum of International Folk Art, featuring beautiful sculptures made in places other than New Mexico.

...It's biggest claim to state pride is beating Arizona to statehood by a month. Die copper state!

...Nobody bothered to mark the border between Old and New.

...The only thing that is burned in effigy is a large paper mannequin.

...The designers of Route 66 decided this stretch of country was lonely enough.

...Most historical “artifacts” are actually just dead.

...Even the historical artifacts are bored.


Hank the Janitor said...

That was really good. Glad to have you back.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I heard that NM was really interesting!

Anonymous said...

EXCUSE ME!?!?! New MExico is awesomE! Maybe iTs not disney world, but its one of the best places i've ever been (and i've been to paris)

Anonymous said...

You obviously are only entertained by things you can stick your penis in. Spend some time here, gain some knowledge, and pull your head out of your ass hole.

Anonymous said...

It truly is super boring here!!!

Anonymous said...

SUPER BORING! i'm happy to be moving out of this BORING state, brown everywhere

Anonymous said...

Screw New Mexico

Anonymous said...

New Mexico is THE most boring place you will ever wish you HADN'T lived. Let me break it down for you:

1. Everybody is poor. No one has money here. Any job you can manage to find here you will get paid more for in another state.

2. There is no work here. None. EVER! Unless your last name is Hernadez, Martinez, Rodriguez...... BTW McDonalds and Wal Mart IS NOT real work.

3. The women are boring. And drunk. And hypocrites. And seriously lacking in brain cells. Trust me if you are a guy who takes care of himself, pays the bills, and wants a equal you immediately need to walk to the mirror and say F you!

4. Everybody has a criminal record. EVERYBODY! Even new born children.

5. It is very boring here. There is nothing here to do. So what if there is a bar down the street. So what, been there done that. Nothing you you haven't seen in any other city.