The FCN Honesty Policy

You can't believe everything you read.

Especially if you read it on FCN.

It's a fact. We're dishonest. We'll say anything to attract readers, and that means some (meaning all) of our posts are riddled with deliberate inaccuracies (meaning lies). Apparently it works. The past few months have seen steady growth.

However, some of our more seasoned readers can get tired of the drivel-du-jour. It's one thing to be lied to and laugh it off. It's another to be fed hogwash on a daily basis. We at FCN can't change our ways. Heck (pardon our language), we're nearly a year old, and that's only counting our time on BlogSpot. We're ancient by blog standards. We're set in our ways. We're incurable liars. Seriously. So, while we can't change our formula for growth, we can give you a guideline by which to read our posts. A weighing mechanism, if you will.

We realize that we can't persuade you FCN veterans - you Desperate Students - that we're being honest simply by saying so. We could tell you we're giving out an iron-clad, to-the-death, cross-our-hearts money-back guarantee with a vengeance and you wouldn't buy it. It wouldn't matter how serious we came across. Nobody takes us seriously anymore. We have that track record. Not seriously seriously. Not anymore.

But we think we have something even more credible than our die-hard words as gentlemen (don't say it) to vouch for us. What we have to tell you is downright unflattering. But, by setting our standards low, we hope to ensure a level of credibility that is completely without precedent in the annals of FCN history (don't say it).

We present to you the Official FCN Honesty Policy:

At least 20% of each post must be true.

There's still some disagreement on enforcement. We spent two hours today in bitter argument over what should be done to the FCN contributor who lies more than 80% of the time. Dan thinks we should drag the offender through a recently-harvested hayfield tied to a golf cart wearing nothing but jeans and a rubber duckie. Cody thinks we should force-feed the offender twenty blueberry scones with nothing to wash it down. I think we should shave the offender and put eagle tattoos all over him, then send him to a homeschool rally. Whatever we agree to, it'll be good, because nothing is ... good ... enough for a cad who lies more than 80% of the time.

The honesty policy enters force at noon today.