The National Institute for Gender Equality and Representation has commissioned a book of re-written nursery rhymes and popular children’s books that would reverse the gender of prominent characters. This book is intended to give boys and girls a chance to appreciate each other by showing how a person of the opposite gender would have handled certain modern situations while also giving both genders a chance to shine. Proposed titles would include, Goldiknocks: the Boy Who Killed the Three Bears, Curious Georgia, and Gary Had a Little Lamb. Below are excerpts from the press release that included theoretical synopses of these re-written classics.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Goldiknocks: the Boy Who Killed the Three Bears
Goldiknocks, who earned his name with an infamous set of brass knuckles, spots a family of bears who have taken up residence in the woods near his home. One day, while the bears are taking a walk while they wait for their porridge to cool, Goldiknocks arms himself with a heavy-duty assault weapon and sneaks into the bears' house. While he waits for the impending massacre, he eats the bears' porridge and chops up their chairs for firewood. He then jumps on their beds and hides in the closet. When the bears return home, they realize that things are not the way they left them. Goldiknocks takes advantage of their confusion and guns them down with an M16. Then he invites his friends to a bear stew supper to celebrate the victory for human ownership of the woods. PETA is informed of his cruelty to animals, and he spends the rest of his childhood in juvenile detention.
The focus groups that were tested have produced intriguing results. One boy said, "It makes me want to go kill some bears! Bears are ferocious flesh eaters!" Later, he and several of the male readers were witnessed wrestling in the parking lot, taking turns being bears or humans. A few girl readers screamed or cried during key parts of the stories. The most emotional girl blubbered, "I've always wanted to meet Joy Behar! Curious Georgia inspired me to get out there and charm some terrorists! (scream) But Those poor bears! Why did Goldiknocks kill poor innocent bears? I love bears. They're so cute."