New Year's Resolutions

We've done this before, so I guess it's a tradition. For 2009, a few New Year's Resolutions we promise to keep.

We promise to get our comma problems under, control.

We promise not to look down on or denigrate our college-age friends who play in sandboxes.

We promise to pick up a plastic shovel and quart-sized bucket and play with our college-age friends who play in sandboxes.

We promise to give people at least a foot of personal space.

We promise not to drop everything when a baby in a restaurant starts crying and try to out-scream him.

We promise to stop taking unnecessary vacations from FCN just because we feel like it.

We promise to not make any jokes about Oprah's book club. Because it does have some great works of fiction.

If we do lie to our readers, we promise to lie about something small; not anything as big as a Holocaust romance.

We promise to notice when people don't want to talk about it.

We promise to make a better attempt at keeping our New Year's resolutions.

We porimse to porof raed all cntoent befroe pbilushing.

We promise to be less pathetic more often.

We promise to stop singing in the shower.

We promise to stop making special trips to the shower in order to sing.

We promise not to hide lollipops in dieter's purses.

We promise to stop refreshing the FCN page every half hour in hopes of new comments.

We promise to clean our rooms.

We promise to stop poking fun at Mr. O and to start calling him by his proper name, Mr. O'Bama.

We promise to stop wearing pajamas to our afternoon classes.

We promise to call our grandparents sometimes.

We promise to never take your mother out for a steak dinner and not call her back. Ever.

We promise not to get too obsessed with the christmas tree decorations this year.

We promise to stop toying with the wait staff at fast food restaurants.

We promise to stop giving bad advice to kids who should know better.

We promise to apologize to parents to whose children we have given bad advice.

We promise not to give parenting advice to parents of misbehaving kids.

We promise to ask at least one question in class next year.

We promise to feel a pang of regret when we get our grades back.

We promise not to take off our shoes on airplanes.

We promise not to strike up conversations with people riding first class.

We promise not to hang out in the restroom just because we want some personal space.

We promise not to make a game of how much stuff we can sneak past security.

We promise to start shaving, even on days when we don't see females.

We promise to stop using the subjunctive when we mean to use the infinitive.

When listening to our iPods in class, we promise not to play the volume so loud the teacher can hear it.

We promise never to lie to our readers ever again. Ever. And this time we mean it.