The polls are closed, and F has won a landslide victory over the field.
The actual percentages are confusing and might mislead you into thinking F wasn't winning the whole time. It might even suggest the election was close! This is, of course, untrue. Here's a simple breakdown of the poll results:
EVERYONE ELSE: 0
This affirmation of F's posting style and leadership spells great days ahead for FCN. In the next board meeting, F will not answer to the usual titles (like "F" or "Dude"). Now, he will answer only to deferential titles (like "Victorious Victor" or "Most Superiorly Excellent Poster" or "The People's Choice"). F's opinion is infinitely more important than that of the losers who didn't get as many votes as he did.
Naturally, F isn't letting the victory go to his head. In fact, he's being incredibly gracious about it. He even announced in an internal email that he will adress his fellow contributors as equals even though they are clearly inferior to him. He could really rub this in their faces, but he's not. Just goes to show what a great guy F is.
It's a new year, under the affirmed leadership of a man who was once kicked off the blog. How have the mighty fallen in the midst of war! Who's laughing now? F is, that's who.
- An Impartial Third Party Commentator