The New Postal Workers’ Creed

Neither snow nor rain nor heat of day nor gloom of night

Nor declining mail volume

Nor changed routes

Nor anthrax

Nor rising postage rates

Nor crazed eBay vendors

Nor elderly suspected terrorists

Nor the annual 102 billion pieces of junk mail

Nor stupid pranksters

Nor the Unabomber

Nor rabid dogs

Shall stay these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.