The Search for the Perfect Major: Part 3

Major under discussion: Philosophy

The meeting had already started, so I quietly tiptoed through the back door of the classroom. It was the weekly Philosophy-Philes meeting. I think that means philosophy lovers, at least I hope so.

I'd never been to one of the meetings, but if I was going to see what a philosophy major really does, this was the place to be. I was surprised to see no one with taped glasses and pocket protectors. There was one student whose hairline was just beginning its process of recession, but generally they looked like normal people. This was encouraging! Maybe philosophy was the major for me.

A student stepped to the front of the room. She seemed like the leader. She had a look of wholesomeness, like a model for those pictures that come free with a new picture frame. In a very nasal voice, she went over the philosophy idea of the night. Then she announced a 10 minute silent "think-time." I hadn't been warned that I would need to think about philosophy.

Thinking about things… now that is not something I do for fun. I'd gotten through college so far without too much thinking, and I wasn't about to start by choice.

I spent the 10 minutes of thinking time trying to figure out how I could fake my way through the philosophy courses. It didn't look pretty. And neither did my face, which was now contorted in an expression somewhere between exasperation, confusion, and desperation.

At the end of the 10 minutes of misery, another student got up and said, "It is now time for the philosophy joke of the week. Descartes walks into a café and sits down ready to order. A waiter comes up to him and asks, 'Do you need a menu?' Descartes replies, 'I think not,' and he disappears!"

I had many questions about this so-called joke, which I tried to ignore as the room erupted in laughter. In fact, the most pressing question really made me proud of myself because it sounded philosophical. "Why am I here?" Actually, I wasn't referring to my existence; I was referring to my presence in the philosophy club.

My second "major" excursion was a wash. Philosophy just required too much thinking. I think I'll try something a little more… objective. Something concrete… like Biology.