School Colors

My school's colors are orange and black. My female friends tell me that those colors look good together and I think they were chosen because they call to mind our school's mascot, a vicious tiger.

Our school colors are pasted everywhere. Announcements at the registrar's office are posted in gaudy orange, napkins in the student union are dull orange with black paw prints and students regularly make signs out of orange construction paper. With all the orange, I'm sure our campus looks like a sunset or a sunspot from space.

Our bookstore is similarly a sitting advertisement for all things orange. It sells everything in orange (stamped, of course, with our school's logo): shirts, hats, pins, sweats, hoodies and undergarments. There is even a tattoo parlor a mile from campus that sells tiger tats at a discount to students.

I don't mind black - it's a color that any tough male can wear without a second thought - but the orange is not working for me. Actually, it's not working for the blonde girls on campus. They can't wear orange and look good - not really. It's been tried. Several times. It doesn't work.

Blonde girls who are considering my school after high school are put off by the colors. They know they can't wear the colors and give the edge to other colleges because of it. This leaves our campus with a dearth of cute blonde girls. It's terrible.

If you are blonde and are thinking about coming to my school, please note that the bookstore sells a lot of black and grey paraphernalia. You can have school pride and keep your aesthetic pride. You may have to be a little more picky, but you'll be fine.

And if you want me to show you around...email me here.