What does the world cost? Oh well, then we'll just take a small coke.

Friday, July 17, 2009


One thing I really, really hate about going to the gym is the possibility of seeing someone I know there. Or, rather, the possibility of someone I know seeing me there.

While I genuinely enjoy unexpectedly meeting up with friends anywhere else, I prefer to not see them at the gym. You see, anywhere else I can wear clothes that hide my flab and reveal only the toned portions of my body. Unfortunately, exercise clothes don't give me that option.

Even more than the clothes, though, the number one reason I try to avoid people I know at the gym is that they will know I'm human, that I have to work to look as good as I do (which, granted, isn't very). I'd rather people think I look good with no effort. It would be so much less...humiliating.

I'm afraid gym invisibility has become somewhat of an obsession with me. Living in a small town with only one exercise facility certainly has its drawbacks. Lately, I've been going to extreme measures to avoid being seen there.

For instance, the other day I was happily chugging away on the elliptical when I spied (with my little eye) an acquaintance working out on the stair-stepper. Immediately, I could feel myself shrink inside and I stopped right away, making a bee-line for the door, not minding the fact that my gym bag and car keys were still in the locker room. For the next half-hour I crouched between two cars, keeping an eye on the door to watch for my acquaintance to emerge.

When she finally came out, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could finally go back inside and finish my routine. Unfortunately, she began walking in the direction of my hideout and I realized that she must have gotten a new car, one that I was hiding next to at that very moment. I could either stand up and reveal myself or try to sneak around to the other side of the black car.

I decided to stand up and walk casually away. Maybe she wouldn't notice me.

"Hey!" she called out. I turned and waved at her. She continued. "It's so..." she looked at me and her features began to contort into an expression of disgust - but she controlled them quickly. "...It's so good to see you again!"

She was lying. I knew she was lying.

I ran home, humiliated, and buried my head under my pillows. I doubt I'll ever have the courage to go to a gym again.


Anonymous said...

WOW!!! the lengths people go to just to "look good". That's funny, you'd think that if she wasn't going to notice you, you'd be safe going back in, getting your stuff from the locker room, and leaving!!! how depresing...

Jill said...

Ouch! I've had the same thoughts about meeting people at the YMCA. Everyone goes there! But, than again, I've never had an experience as embarrassing as yours!

Anonymous said...

Jesus that's ridiculous. Get over it, everybody is at the gym to fix something whether its their visible body or relatively invisible endurance and cardio strength. Instead crouching in between two cars for half an hour go back inside, get on the elliptical and put in the time. Get your diet right, quit making BS excuses for skipping the gym, and someday you might look good enough to feel great about yourself. I mean holy crap if you can even get on an elliptical it implies you can at least walk so your not one of 900lb bed ridden fatasses; so im sure you look just fine. If you have a problem with workout clothes, get some sweats and if anyone asks say ur trying to build up a sweat faster. No one looks good in sweats anyway so their wont be any expectations.