What does the world cost? Oh well, then we'll just take a small coke.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Todd’s...Bush’s Problems

Todd gets up earlier than normal. His Palm Pilot promises a busy day ahead and he wants to make doubly sure his hair is combed and that he scrubs all the grime out of the hard to reach places before tackling the challenges de jour. Todd doesn’t think about the filth or the process of removing it, he just knows that uncleanliness is a Bush-sized problem and that it needs resolving with an old fashioned washing.

While Todd is brushing his teeth, he flips on his television. A riot in the capital city has erupted over low wages and President Bush is to blame. On the screen, hundreds of angry union representatives chant pro-worker slogans and Todd finds himself joining in with the professional protesters, lifting his free hand in a fist while moving the toothpaste around in his mouth with his Sonicare bristles.

Those poor souls, why did President Bush have to hang them out to dry like that? Isn’t there enough wealth in this country for us all to prosper without depressing the blue collar laborers of our country? Todd can’t comprehend the logic that would motivate Bush to treat the backbone of the American economy so unfairly.

Todd walks into the kitchen and pours himself a bowl of Cheerios. He goes to the fridge and reaches in for the milk, only to be greeted by an empty cold shelf. Todd is out of milk. Todd is confused at first, but then he understands: Bush miscalculated with the dairy product allotment. Todd can’t understand how the President has control over his own milk supply, but he doesn’t need too. He knows that Bush is at fault and leaves the figuring to others. President Bush wasted a perfectly good bowl of Cheerios.

On the way to work, Todd passes a nasty car accident. He joins the other drivers on the road in rubbernecking the incident and rolls down his window for a better view. A woman is sitting on an overturned 5-gallon bucket with a shawl wrapped around her shoulders. She is shaken badly by the accident and cries loudly, so that even Todd can distinguish her words as he drives by. “If Bush hadn’t started his radio address just as I was merging, the accident never would have happened. What an idiot we elected!”

The radio has good news. The stock market rallied yesterday and appears to be doing well today in early trading. A commentator notes that some caution should be maintained in analyzing the data as long as Bush’s economic policies are in place. “Short-lived growth will invariably be followed by periods of contraction as long as Bush is in the White House,” the voice on the radio said to conclude his analysis.

Todd shakes his head in agreement. All the talk of recession makes so much sense now.

Todd gets to work a few minutes late. His boss is waiting at his desk with a stack of files and looks upset to see his employee arrive tardily. Todd explains that he was held up by road construction and would have told the story about the traffic accident had his employer not interrupted. “That construction on Fourth and Vine?” The boss’ face softened as Todd nodded his assent. “If Bush had only vetoed that transportation bill, we would not be wasting money on this kind of project.”

Todd’s job keeps him hopping until lunch when he leaves the office with Janet to grab a bite. On the way to the local sandwich depot, he notices the price of gas. Janet sighs and makes a disparaging comment about Bush’s foreign policy. Todd knows Janet is right and dreams of change...and hope.

At lunch Todd flips idly through the newspaper while Janet tells him about her financial difficulties. A violent crime was committed the night before and the gruesome details are revealed in stark black and white. The police chief blames the President for not giving his force adequate funding. The article is sympathetic to the suspect and critical of Bush.

Todd zones back into his conversation with Janet. Her car payment is coming due and her alimony check is late. Todd grimaces with each new detail Janet adds and finally offers some encouragement. “If Bush had passed his tort reforms, maybe you would have that resolved now. He sure did mess up family law.”

While Janet agrees with his remark, Todd thinks about what he said. He had never given the court systems much thought, but knew exactly who to blame when confronted with a problem. And why not? Everyone else finds reasons to blame the President; who’s to say he didn’t cause all these problems?


big mo said...

my garden is dying. it must be bush's fault.

my homework is late. it must be bush's fault.

it's so sad, isn't it, that we cannot take responsibility for anything any longer? everything is someone else's fault, usually someone we dislike. if we give up responsibility for what we do, we are giving up freedom as well. this country is for the people to take care of, not the president.

as far as the bush goes, even if one doesn't agree with all his policies, one ought to respect his position.

good post, guys.

Matthew said...

That was an awesome post. Thank you, Bush.

Karl Rove said...

And the simple beauty of my plan is that in 2009, Osama, er,um Obama will be then blamed for everything! HaHa!

mommy g said...

You are all too young to remember, but George Bush Sr. took the blame and responsibility for all our country's problems 16 years ago. But I think it will be fun to blame the next 8 years on either Obama or Hillary.

big mo said...

i don't want hillary in office even if i do get the immense pleasure of blaming all my problems on her.