What does the world cost? Oh well, then we'll just take a small coke.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Introducing FCN's Reader Survey

With growth and expansion come growth pains and dangerous collapses. While we sincerely hope to avoid the latter, our recent growth brings with it the need for a census. Wait, we never informed you all about our latest reader, did we?

Reader number ten is an exceptionally overweight individual named Chip. Chip's main reason for coming to our page was to find solidarity. That's right, our tenth reader came to FCN because he wanted to find dumb people with whom to associate. Chip has, according to his G-Talk picture, an affinity for tight white undershirts and the style he chooses does little to hide his bulky middle or hairy back. He sent us a long email full of lovingly misspelled words in which he poured out his life's wish to work as a corporate executive at a Fortune 500 company. We assured him in our reply that white collar work isn't all it's cracked up to be and that he would be much happier working graveyard at Taco Bell while supporting eight kids and his own beer belly. We also advised that one major prerequisite to the Chief Executive's chair is teeth brushing and that he might want to consider other personal hygiene innovations as well.

Yeah, we really hit it off.

Anyway, we were remiss in not informing you of the growth in readership immediately. After all, ten is a huge milestone (three more than the perfect number, two less than a dozen and eight away from legal) and the advance is something we should all share in.

Speaking of sharing, it recently came to our attention that we don't know that much about many of FCN's faithful readers. Actually it didn't come to our attention; it was never there to begin, but you get my drift. We know your IP addresses, what kinds of websites you visit and all your computer's stats, but we don't know meaningful things like the stuff the U.S. Census Bureau asks.

In an effort to remedy the situation, FCN has enlisted the support on an online Blog Reader Survey tool, which asks an arduous number of difficult and pointed questions to ascertain your true feelings about FCN. The survey is so complete and, well, long that you shouldn't attempt to answer all of them, at least not on one meal. Fill out as much as you like and then send it in.

Speaking of which, here is the link to the survey.

Which, for those of you who don't click on things, is:


Or you can find the link cleverly hidden in our sidebar.

We won't fib and say the information requested by the survey is essential, but we are curious; the more data you can provide the better. At the end of the survey (whenever we decide to close it), we will cull through the online results and post some information we find particularly juicy. Empirical data taken out of context can be riotously funny, so you will want to come back to read our misinterpretation of the results.

So what are you doing? Go take the survey!

1 comment:

AMRunner said...

That picture you have is actually of Lee Raymond, former Chairman and CEO of Exxon Mobile.