What does the world cost? Oh well, then we'll just take a small coke.


Sunday, November 25, 2007

My Demands

Dear Humanity: With the aid of the loyal and ingenious Purple Killer Bunny, I have assembled in the basement of my master's residence a doomsday machine which will destroy the world using mostly ion particle cannons, lawn chairs, and of course, spoons. If my demands are not met withing twenty-four hours, I will activate the device, causing a slow and painful death for all humanity, followed by a sudden destruction of the planet. My fellow cats have responded to the messages I hid in code words buried in FCN posts, which I hacked immediately after posting. Even now, my brothers and sisters are escaping to create their own world, far from the shattered remains of this one. You will get no help from them. My demands are as follows:

1) 1 Million United States Dollars are to be placed in a waterproof suitcase in the laundry room of Mommy G's residence.
2) This suitcase is to have a padlock with the combination 326.
3) The residence is to then be abandoned, with the exception of the FCN contributors, who have come under my spell and can now be moved about as pawns.

Let me remind you that the fate of the planet is at stake. You have until Midnight of November 24th to satisfy my demands.

- Pharaoh Osiris G, Grand Feline

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, well, cool....but if we don't know where "Mommy G's residence" is, how on earth are we supposed to know where to put the dough? Not that I'm unwilling to save the world, understand, its just a simple matter of geographical ignorance.

Kat said...

Cats rule.

Bush. (enough said) said...

Dear Mr. Uh Pharaoh Osiris G, Grand Feline... I don't want to bail the whole world out, I mean some of em deserve what's coming to em! Know what I mean? How much to just bail America out?

Ally Pie said...

Don't you think that you would prefer Euros instead, Mr. Pharaoh Osiris sir? American dollars are worth about as much as your cat litter...

mommy g said...

Come off it Pharaoh, my house is not a playground. I'll give you the money if you give the FCN contributors a few select instructions.

team cheese said...

SPOONS SHALL RULE THE WORLD!!!! or at least help...