What does the world cost? Oh well, then we'll just take a small coke.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

A Morning Walk.

Welcome! Thank you for joining us on today’s jog. Please keep your hands and feet close to your body at all times, as excess motion may result in collision with passing objects. Begin by sending action potentials to your left leg muscles. Your appendage should flex so as to boost itself from the ground. Use the liquid in your ears to balance on one lower limb - you don't want to collapse on the concrete. Now set your shoe down a few feet in front of where you lifted it from.

Proceed with the same method for the second leg. Repeat. Speed up the process and continue to reiterate the system. Use your upper limbs to maintain equilibrium, swinging them back and forth like pendulums.

So now you need to breathe.

Open your mouth and take care that your tonsils are not in the way. Use your lower diaphragm muscles to expand your lungs, creating a vacuum and sucking atmosphere into your chest cavity. Be careful not to inhale any passing insects. After the oxygen has been absorbed by your lungs, use your abdominal muscles to exhale.

Congratulations! You have crossed the street. Please join us next week when we eat a cheeseburger!

No comments: