Microsoft Santa

One of the goofiest things the normally buttoned down Microsoft has done recently is make an automated Santa Claus through Windows Live:

REDMOND, Wash. — Dec. 13, 2006 — Ho, ho, ho! This year there is another way for kids to share Christmas wish lists with Santa Claus. Using Windows Live™ Messenger, parents can spend time with their kids chatting in real time with Santa online. Customers can simply add Santa’s address, Northpole@live.com, to their Windows Live Messenger contact list and instantly open a conversation window to communicate with Saint Nick. Kids will enjoy immediate responses from the jolly big man himself through an interactive online chat, and they can even visit Santa’s page on Windows Live Spaces at http://santaonspaces.spaces.live.com. Filling Santa in on Christmas wishes and asking all about how the reindeer are doing or what’s new at the North Pole are a few of the things kids can talk to Santa about. Santa can even tell kids where they stand on his list: naughty or nice.

Starting Christmas Eve morning, kids can check in with Santa through Windows Live Messenger to follow his journey around the world. As Santa circles the globe delivering gifts, kids who ask him where he is or when he will arrive at their house will be directed to the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) Santa-tracking site through a link in the conversation window. More information on chatting with Santa through Windows Live Messenger can be found at http://santaonmessenger.com.

Microsoft is unphased by the potentially millions of children who will attempt a conversation with this e-Santa, because it knows the vast majority of instant messengers use other services like AOL and Google. That's the one nice thing about being dead last.

Technical and logistical concerns aside, isn't this heartwarming? Instead of going to the mall and meeting with a real, albeit fake, Santa Claus, Americas youth will gather around the glowing computer screen to share their dreams with an impersonal imposter. Parents don't have to worry about trucking their kids to the mall and Santa doesn't have to worry about sexual harassment lawsuits. All the children need be concerned about is carpel tunnel syndrome.

Very heartwarming.

It's also great to realize that Microsoft Santa represents the software companies concerted effort to celebrate our Savior's birth. No fooling around for Bill Gates brainchild, Christmas must have meaning! And how better than to promote a child's fairy tale that is a complete distraction from the real Christmas story? A more effective strategy would be to give low calorie e-Candy Canes or cyber yuletide.

Well, I am not chatting with Microsoft's Santa or any other computer generated North Pole resident who welcomes his way onto my terminal. But if you want to have a brief word with the bearded legend, be my guest. Just make sure you don't rest your wrists on the keyboard.