Life Tip #24

Don’t smuggle ephedrine, an illicit product used to make amphetamines, into Australia.

If you do smuggle ephedrine into Australia, don’t do so by airplane.

If you do smuggle ephedrine by airplane, don’t strap packages of the stuff to your groin.

If you smuggle ephedrine strapped to your groin via airplane and get caught, don’t tell the officer that you are going to use the ephedrine to “cure a sick, rare albino buffalo calf” and that you “want to sell [it] to an Indonesian sultan.”