Reader Number Six

It's another huge milestone in the meteoric rise of FCN: we have just gained our sixth reader. Now we are truly on a roll. We are taking the blogosphere by storm, folks. Nothing can stand in our way. Through sheer force of will and desperation, we are overwhelming lesser blogs that are based on talent, humor, or class. Nothing can stand in our way now. Our progress may be slow by the standards of some, but it is also inexorable. According to Uncle Wally's homemade calculator, if our trend continues (which it will), then in just a little over 79,059,829 years, we'll have every internet user in America drooling over our content.

Our sixth reader is from Zimbabwe, or as they say in those parts: Mbuku gabeli click clack guber.

We realize that, by current longevity standards, it is highly unlikely that we will survive long enough to see FCN dominate the world. However, the FCN team is full of visionary thinkers. By a vote of 2 to 1, we agreed to freeze-dry Dan and stick him into cryogenic sleep, to be awakened when the current FCN team is done for. Dan will appoint a new FCN team from amongst the loyal ranks of the LLFCN, then tuck himself back into the freezer for a few more decades. This way, the FCN legacy will never die, unless of course there's a power outage at Dan's storage facility.

We've come to some other brilliant ideas, too. But it wouldn't be right to unveil them all at once. We ingenious derelicts have something truly spectacular planned to celebrate our sixth reader, and as soon as we get the details hammered out, we'll rush it out to you so you can blow out the candles.

Look out world. FCN is coming.

See you in 76 million years.