What does the world cost? Oh well, then we'll just take a small coke.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Why its OK to give liberals the pass

Warning: The content of this post is unintentionally mature. If you are mature, please read on. If you are unsure of your maturity, but are deathly curious, there isn't anything this paragraph can say to stop you, so read on. If you are immature, find a mature friend or parent to read the post first and, after the reader has sullied his mind or corrupted her heart with the vile contents, you may weigh the value of reading on.

And don't feel lonely, you can always check out today's Life Tip!

Those of you who have taken a break from your busy class schedule to peek at the news may have noticed a slightly alarming, politically delicious and highly concupiscent episode involving a duly elected United States Senator, an airport and a men's restroom.

If you aren't up to speed, let's just say that the honorable Senator was caught doing some perverted and illegal things in the bathroom and that the evidence against him was so strong that he plead guilty to the resulting misdemeanor charge without much of a fight. The honorable Senator than tried to remove his guilty plea and his request was denied. The honorable Senator is now trying to remove his guilty plea on appeal. The newspapers are loving it, bloggers are making hay of the story and every passing day has the image and reputation of Larry Craig dragged further through the mud.

The story of Larry Craig is one that seems more at place in a cheap paperback novel then on the front pages of such widely read publications as the New York Times. Or did I just repeat myself?

Regardless, the point is that anytime you have an elected politician soliciting anything other than votes in a public restroom, you also have a great deal of eyebrow raising.

Or do you?

I certainly raise my eyebrows when I hear these kinds of stories. I also lean forward, purse my lips and squint my eyes, all nonverbal expressions of titillation and interest. But if you are like most Americans, you only really care about sex scandals when they impugn a conservative leader.

No, it's true.

Consider Hugh Grant, an outspoken critic of former PM Tony Blair, who was caught misbehaving lewdly a few years ago. Grant took care of the "problem" by apologizing on Leno and then starring in a bunch of big budget movies. In fact, unless you have a photographic memory for news - one that can recall stories like this from thirteen years ago - you forgot all about GrantGate.

Or, more politically, openly homosexual congressman Barney Frank was at the center of a prostitution ring while serving as a Democrat representative from Massachusetts. When the scandal broke and the skeleton came waltzing out of Frank's closet, the politician did what politicians do best and easily sidestepped the problem. Only he did so by challenging his opponents to explain why his actions were wrong and defiantly defended his ties with prostitution. Frank continues to serve today.

Or consider Ang Lee and Tom Brady, a movie director and a sports star who's relationship dalliances are overshadowed by their liberal politics.

At the same time, conservative leaders like Clarence Thomas, Newt Gingrich, Mark Foley and Ted Haggard have had their voices eliminated or substantially tarnished by the allegations of sexual misconduct that have been levied against them.

Some would look at this disparity and become concerned with the apparent double standard in contemporary politics, but FCN sees this another way.

Standing for liberal ideologies is a great way to expunge crimes of indiscretion. Said differently, a host of moral sins are forgiven by support for the environment or advocating redistributing wealth to the poor. If you mess up, no matter how egregious the mistake, find a liberal cause to espouse and all will be made right.

This approach to justification gives people an out. Instead of having to suffer through the conviction of untreated iniquity, the sinner can search out some liberal pet project to support. And remember to stay consistent, because a relapse into conservativism invites criticism for your wayward behavior.

If you ever get caught in an insidious sin, deride the military or blame a conservative; you'll get out of the jam every time. Guaranteed.

So Larry Craig, burn in torment for your actions, you pervert. But rock on Barney Frank.


Christopher Yerziklewski said...

I've noticed this many times. I think it's because most of the media is liberal. So they pick on the conservatives, and then what are the other media sources supposed to do? Ignore the big news? Then it just gets blown up while liberal scandals are played down.

mommy g said...

Wow, that was good.

adrialien said...

"...a host of moral sins are forgiven by support for the environment or advocating redistributing wealth to the poor" or encouraging the murder of thousands of innocents each day.

Good post.

you can call me batman said...

aak...can't...BREATHE!!!! maturity...too much... gaaaakkkk! Lol. srsly, that was a really good post, and totally true! (amazing....)

Anonymous said...

Craig did a great service to America. Before the Craig bathroom "incident" I gave no consideration to men's bathrooms and the possible dangers lurking therein. Now, thanks to modern media, I am educated and able to warn my innocent brethern of what to do when shoe-tapped from under a bathroom stall.
For the readers of FCN...when shoe-tapped from under a bathroom stall do you,
1. comment on the nice oxfords?
2. kindly let the person know you are not from their district?
OR 3. yell at the top of your lungs, "get away pervert, I'm calling the cops!!" ?
I wish this were funny.

adrialien said...

why haven't u guys posted yet??? Please don't deprive me of my evening post!

Allison said...

Sorry to be serious, but the issue of conservative/liberal double standard on sex scandals is largely about the voting base.

Most social liberals such as myself could care less what their senator chooses to do in an airport bathroom. However, most social conservatives would be quite outraged.