What does the world cost? Oh well, then we'll just take a small coke.


Thursday, January 10, 2008

On the Appropriate Length of a Humor Blog Post


When FCN was started, the topic was just a faint glimmering trace of discontent. Since then, it has risen to be one of the most hotly contested issues on a blog that frankly isn't very hotly contested.

How long should FCN's posts be?

Some of our readers see long posts as free content. A recent 2400 word Desperate Student made them feel happy deep down inside. Other readers just skim the headlines - literally. The latest FCN staff meeting yielded inconclusive results. Some favored the 3 to 8 paragraph rule. Others favored making the posts as long as the author preferred, consequences be hung. Still others favored removing all the HTML in the blog with the exception of a nice Hannah Montana background. This includes removing the posts.

With this inconclusive non-consensus, we were forced to consult FCN's extended family. Mommy G pointed us to that famous Justin Timberlake quote: "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." Or was that Antoine de Saint-Exupery. I can't keep the two apart in my mind.

Uncle Wally started crying when we approached him. Between sobs, he urged us to make our posts as short as possible - preferably between one and five. Syllables.

Em refused to give us advice unless we promised not to use her name in the post, which of course we just couldn't do.

So we're left in a bit of a tizzy. We don't know what to think. And with every sentence we draw this post out, we alienate some (like jellyfish) and please others (like 200). So we turn to you, the noble reader. How long should our posts be? Tell us what to think.

19 comments:

Princess in Disguise said...

Make them as long as they need to be, seriously. I love the long ones!!! Honestly, I go crazy on the weekends when there aren't any new posts. I get on every morning to read the new entries. You guys do an AWESOME job. Make em long and strong or short and sweet. They're always amazing.

mumble's the word said...

Well, let's see. If you can accurately measure the amount of caffeine you've had (c), the time you started writing (t), the anticipated funniness of the post (f), and Uncle Wally's age in dog years (U), I'd say ideal post length (L) should be gauged as follows:

L = (2U + 5ct)/U^2 - log (f-c) + t

If you can't measure all that, try to keep it between one word and the length of Shakespeare's Henry IV.

Christopher Yerziklewski said...

Yeah, write as much as you need. Some of the longer posts have been the funniest ones.

em said...

I like the long posts...

Jellyfish said...

This post was the perfect length. long enough to be worth it, short enough for me to actually read it. I think anything Shakespeare wrote is way too long. But so far it is four vs. one.

200 said...

Make them as long as you want without sacrificing the humor or the point you're trying to make.

Longer=better. Normally.

The long posts please the people who like the long ones, and the Life Tips and Notes to Self please those who like the short ones.

See? It's brilliant.

Lazrmagnt said...

You should make them short but not as short as the life tips or notes to self... those are too short...

Just quit making them so long

big mo said...

i say, don't babble. make it funny, make it interesting, but don't put in more than you have to.
i like long posts generally, but when i have to scroll down more than two pages i might move on to do what i actually have to do ... on a deadline. which is, of course, not reading fcn posts. as they will wait as long as need be for me to get around to them. my english homework is not so forgiving.

all that babble and blather to say...
do what you have to, but don't go too far out on the "trying to be funny but it's not working so i'll throw in a few hundred more words just in case" limb.

Matthew said...

Really, I read them any length, they're so good. Except Desperate Student posts, which I don't like because I never read the beginning of the story and always get lost in them...

adrialien said...

I think 5-8 paragraphs is perfect. Longer than that, and it just becomes an inconvenience to read. Any shorter, and I'll complain :P.

you can call me batman said...

feel free to write ALL you want! and post early, because I check FCN first thing. you guys do an amazing job! so, I wouldn't mind a nice loooong one (the longer, the better, because I do school after reading FCN...)

UBH said...

I like the really short posts, and for some reason they usually turn out better than the long ones.

UBH said...

I agree with jellyfish and, UBH (UBH is my new face)so to be fair, and make sure the votes are all for shortness I will just sit in my chair hitting the refresh button and counting the votes.

Torin said...

Long! LOONNNGG!!!

shark tooth vs unrivaled humor said...

The one above the one above me is supposed to be fastj.

sour cream said...

You know...I don't really think it matters. I mean if the post is short...everyone complains. and if it's long...everyone complains some more. just read the posts and move on with your life. it's that simple. And if you FCN ppls could go off on more tangents...you know...go completely off point and on some other story...that would be good.

1,000 said...

medium length (3-8 paragraphs) = better.

get your point across, but know when it's been made. pounding it 2 feet beneath the ground doesn't make it more visible.

Jesse said...

Well I would be amazed if you could please everyone in this group or even a plurality of the many opinions. But you could just do what you have been doing in the past. Some longer some shorter. And just do what you want in which case (unless your counter is to be trusted which is hard to believe since you have so many opinions here already) you will have plenty of readership if go on the way you have been. Most assuredly don't repeat the same content once you have already made the joke.

Anonymous said...

I WANT LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!