What does the world cost? Oh well, then we'll just take a small coke.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Way to Boost Your Evaluations.

Allright, everyone, listen up. Someone brought cookies to class today, so we're going to be handing them out to the students. Now I don't want you all just getting up and herding over here and trampling on each other - no, we don't want that. So here's how it's going to work.

You can see up here on my desk there are four plates. The first runs A to G, second H to M, third is N to S, and last T to Z. I will call you up by row. When I call your row, you will get up and pass my desk from left to right. When you reach the plate that corresponds to the first letter of your last name, initial your name on the paper next to the plate, take a cookie - just one cookie - and then go to the far wall. When the person in the back desk of your row has his cookie, follow him back to your seat in reverse of the order you were orignally seated. I will then call up the next row to repeat the process.

For those of you who are on diets or whatever - for crying out loud, this is just one cookie. It's not going to hurt you to eat it, but it will mess up the system if you don't get up and take one when I call your name. Once you have your cookie I don't care what you do with it. Feed it to your dog for all I care. But you better come up here and take your cookie, and if you don't, I'll be up here watching with the roll sheet, and your grade will reflect that.

For those of you who think you can get away with taking two or more cookies, think again. I have eyes that see all things. I've seen people trying to get away with that kind of thing before and I've stopped it. You will not be able to fool me, so don't bother trying. Taking multiple cookies is academic misconduct - cheating - and if I catch you cheating, which I will, the first thing I'll do is drop you from this class, and the second thing I'll do is I'll take a letter to Administration and get you suspended from the school. I've done it before and I'll do it again. I detest cheaters. I've gone in with suspension requests several times over the past few years and I've always gotten it. So if you take two cookies, you'll find yourself banned from this school for several years, and you'll have a blot on your record for trying to get into other schools. It's just not worth it, people. Take one cookie and only one - no exceptions - and we'll all get through this thing okay.

Any questions before we get started? None? Okay, let's go, row 1. Enjoy your cookie.


asc said...

HAHA! I would be ROFL but I'm in the computer lab. That sounds almost EXACTLY like my polsci prof!

Jacqui said...

How'd I get back into Kindergarten?! HELP!!